qalbee wat'r saoutee...
my heart, the cords of my voice
listening with my eyes
and
speaking with my heart
April 8, 2008
March 25, 2008
khay! quietness...
khay!
quietness and silence...
can quietness
and silence
and withdrawal
be forms of resistance or social change?
is it possible that community cultural development work, as life work, can have slower approaches - so slow that there are long periods of quiet?
maybe i am emerging from four months of relative quietness.
but i have grown to love the mundane and the detail of the everyday...
yesterday morning
walking on the footpath
a leaf fell in front of me.
i saw that yellow leaf fall.
if i did not include my participation, in the last line, i am not necessarily there. (is this self-indulgence?)
can complex issues of agency and authorship in cultural production and social change be that simple?
quietness facilitates listening...
the collective 'we' have always had an eternal focus on 'speaking out'... eg. 'who is speaking'? and the struggle to speak 'in your own voice'.
i listened to old freire in the mid 70s and then the early 90s - models of education, action research and cultural action primarily require approaches of listening before development and action.
maybe 'who is listening?' becomes a significant shift in perspective.
mmm...
have i even been listening to myself?
quietness and silence...
can quietness
and silence
and withdrawal
be forms of resistance or social change?
is it possible that community cultural development work, as life work, can have slower approaches - so slow that there are long periods of quiet?
maybe i am emerging from four months of relative quietness.
but i have grown to love the mundane and the detail of the everyday...
yesterday morning
walking on the footpath
a leaf fell in front of me.
i saw that yellow leaf fall.
if i did not include my participation, in the last line, i am not necessarily there. (is this self-indulgence?)
can complex issues of agency and authorship in cultural production and social change be that simple?
quietness facilitates listening...
the collective 'we' have always had an eternal focus on 'speaking out'... eg. 'who is speaking'? and the struggle to speak 'in your own voice'.
i listened to old freire in the mid 70s and then the early 90s - models of education, action research and cultural action primarily require approaches of listening before development and action.
maybe 'who is listening?' becomes a significant shift in perspective.
mmm...
have i even been listening to myself?
November 26, 2007
kan ya makan...
kan ya makan... once upon a time...
i remember long ago as a child, working out for myself that 'time' (as we knew it) was something 'made up' by humans, to divide and to count...
'kan ya makan...' is actually not part of my own childhood. although my father did tell me ongoing stories about a girl named gigi and a dog and a swimming pool. how sydney suburban.
the arab art of storytelling (and joketelling) is something that i've experienced more as a grown-up, accumulating elements of a 2nd-hand arab experience.
an accumulation of 'arabness'.
hold on. i take back the bit about 2nd-hand (or 3rd- or 4th-hand).
arabness, as it lives and accumulates itself within the diaspora, is no more or no less arab, ma hayk?
so let me get back to 'time'...
if i lose my language do i lose my own sense of time?
or do i lose my father's time...?
boukra and manyana:
i like this joke about concepts of time and procrastination; it's the one about the dialogue between the arabic speaking person and the spanish speaking person.
the arab asks about the spanish 'manyana'?
manyana is a relaxed tomorrow, not definitely, and if not tomorrow then maybe the day after, and if all goes well, it might happen then...
the spanish speaker wants to know about the arabic 'boukra'?
boukra is a bit like manyana, but not as urgent...
i remember long ago as a child, working out for myself that 'time' (as we knew it) was something 'made up' by humans, to divide and to count...
'kan ya makan...' is actually not part of my own childhood. although my father did tell me ongoing stories about a girl named gigi and a dog and a swimming pool. how sydney suburban.
the arab art of storytelling (and joketelling) is something that i've experienced more as a grown-up, accumulating elements of a 2nd-hand arab experience.
an accumulation of 'arabness'.
hold on. i take back the bit about 2nd-hand (or 3rd- or 4th-hand).
arabness, as it lives and accumulates itself within the diaspora, is no more or no less arab, ma hayk?
so let me get back to 'time'...
if i lose my language do i lose my own sense of time?
or do i lose my father's time...?
boukra and manyana:
i like this joke about concepts of time and procrastination; it's the one about the dialogue between the arabic speaking person and the spanish speaking person.
the arab asks about the spanish 'manyana'?
manyana is a relaxed tomorrow, not definitely, and if not tomorrow then maybe the day after, and if all goes well, it might happen then...
the spanish speaker wants to know about the arabic 'boukra'?
boukra is a bit like manyana, but not as urgent...
November 19, 2007
A.I. on 'ghost flights'...
... my first thought on reading about the helicopter ride that Alissar took - and which she has no memory of, no evidence for - reminded me of the other 'ghost flights' that i've been thinking about lately. Those ghost flights are the more sinister kind - those that 'render' people to institutions of pain and potential death: torture houses, jails, death camps. Alissar's helicopter ride was a ghost flight not because public record of it has been expunged but because the passenger has no memory, no memorialised evidence of it. But this ghost flight 'rendered' her to an institution of pain, potential death, but thankfully also healing and recovery.
Question: can you ever really 'lose' time??
what does this mean?
is time only 'not-lost' when you have a tangible memory or evidence for it?
Alia
Question: can you ever really 'lose' time??
what does this mean?
is time only 'not-lost' when you have a tangible memory or evidence for it?
Alia
no (time)frame...
too late in the 'discussion timeframe'?
ironically, there suddenly is NO timeframe...
amnesia through anaesthesia.
memory for forgetfulness, without sensation. with paralysis.
the surgical investigation gone wrong and emergency transfer.
heart and lungs pushed to the absolute limits...
h.y. wrote: But I am thinking about "leaving traces"...
what i was writing before i lost that time(frame)?
the quickly mythologized part of the lost week is the drama experienced unconscious(ly): flying over and above the all-too-familiar (like a helicopter from auburn to westmead)
however i have no 'evidence' of any such journey, which uncannily takes me back to my post of 9 nov...
ironically, there suddenly is NO timeframe...
amnesia through anaesthesia.
memory for forgetfulness, without sensation. with paralysis.
the surgical investigation gone wrong and emergency transfer.
heart and lungs pushed to the absolute limits...
h.y. wrote: But I am thinking about "leaving traces"...
what i was writing before i lost that time(frame)?
the quickly mythologized part of the lost week is the drama experienced unconscious(ly): flying over and above the all-too-familiar (like a helicopter from auburn to westmead)
however i have no 'evidence' of any such journey, which uncannily takes me back to my post of 9 nov...
November 11, 2007
no flag...
i continue to return to this poem
written nearly 800 years ago
by mawlana jalaluddin rumi
(translated by coleman barks)
:: no flag ::
i used to want buyers for my words.
now i wish someone would buy me away from words.
i've made a lot of charmingly profound images,
scenes with abraham, and abraham's father, azar,
who was also famous for icons.
i'm so tired of what i've been doing.
then one image without form came,
and i quit.
look for someone else to tend the shop.
i'm out of the image-making business.
finally i know the freedom
of madness.
a random image arrives. i scream,
"get out!" it disintegrates.
only love.
only the holder the flag fits into,
and wind. no flag.
(#2449)
written nearly 800 years ago
by mawlana jalaluddin rumi
(translated by coleman barks)
:: no flag ::
i used to want buyers for my words.
now i wish someone would buy me away from words.
i've made a lot of charmingly profound images,
scenes with abraham, and abraham's father, azar,
who was also famous for icons.
i'm so tired of what i've been doing.
then one image without form came,
and i quit.
look for someone else to tend the shop.
i'm out of the image-making business.
finally i know the freedom
of madness.
a random image arrives. i scream,
"get out!" it disintegrates.
only love.
only the holder the flag fits into,
and wind. no flag.
(#2449)
November 9, 2007
evidence ... no traces
3arabi-mapping...
mapping?
i have always tracked my footsteps, walking around blocks.
always lived internal lives, making mind maps (long before virtual realities of blogs and second lives).
always made lists on bits of paper, kept books to write things in.
now, cool people do this electronically in their pockets (including cross-referencing!)
some friends have laughed at the obsessive tendencies.
the odd person understands through their own habits.
unfortunately my horizontal filing (physical, electronic, virtual and mental) has become way too horizontal...
js said she wants to photograph my densely configured work diaries. she thinks they are amazing. that's a bit too public for me. i have to make sure i burn everything before i die. (i can just imagine my final list. ha! reminds me of when i was packing up to leave after a few years in ramallah. bb said to add 'leave' to my list of things to do.)
i remember a late night auburn street cafe conversation with oq. he told a story of piles of legal documentation stacked in a room, needing to find one phone number on one piece of paper. he could visualize his handwriting and the colour of the paper. he visualized where this was amongst the piles. and he found it. i remember asking our short blacks: why do we keep things on paper? why do we document? we looked at each other and simultaneously said: evidence.
not in the legal sense.
existential.
i remember a loungeroom conversation with ah, who said: 'you seem to accumulate things'. intonations of judgement. i said that every piece has a story related to who it came from. that habits of writing on paper were not merely descriptive of what's happened, but what is underneath, and how it feels. he said that he wants to leave no traces.
in a recent discussion with bh, we excavated ideas about why we document (whatever and however). he talked about the greek roots of the word 'archive' being 'house of the lawmaker'. he mentioned derrida's concept of 'archive fever'.
i remember one night in the bush near the campfire, a brief intersection of conversation with a woman, who said that in buddhist practice, writing reflections and realizations is not really encouraged, especially when you are still learning, as it brings too much conceptualization, and it does not encourage you to be in the present moment... (i later went to my little tent and wrote that down. ha!)
mapping?
i have always tracked my footsteps, walking around blocks.
always lived internal lives, making mind maps (long before virtual realities of blogs and second lives).
always made lists on bits of paper, kept books to write things in.
now, cool people do this electronically in their pockets (including cross-referencing!)
some friends have laughed at the obsessive tendencies.
the odd person understands through their own habits.
unfortunately my horizontal filing (physical, electronic, virtual and mental) has become way too horizontal...
js said she wants to photograph my densely configured work diaries. she thinks they are amazing. that's a bit too public for me. i have to make sure i burn everything before i die. (i can just imagine my final list. ha! reminds me of when i was packing up to leave after a few years in ramallah. bb said to add 'leave' to my list of things to do.)
i remember a late night auburn street cafe conversation with oq. he told a story of piles of legal documentation stacked in a room, needing to find one phone number on one piece of paper. he could visualize his handwriting and the colour of the paper. he visualized where this was amongst the piles. and he found it. i remember asking our short blacks: why do we keep things on paper? why do we document? we looked at each other and simultaneously said: evidence.
not in the legal sense.
existential.
i remember a loungeroom conversation with ah, who said: 'you seem to accumulate things'. intonations of judgement. i said that every piece has a story related to who it came from. that habits of writing on paper were not merely descriptive of what's happened, but what is underneath, and how it feels. he said that he wants to leave no traces.
in a recent discussion with bh, we excavated ideas about why we document (whatever and however). he talked about the greek roots of the word 'archive' being 'house of the lawmaker'. he mentioned derrida's concept of 'archive fever'.
i remember one night in the bush near the campfire, a brief intersection of conversation with a woman, who said that in buddhist practice, writing reflections and realizations is not really encouraged, especially when you are still learning, as it brings too much conceptualization, and it does not encourage you to be in the present moment... (i later went to my little tent and wrote that down. ha!)
November 8, 2007
significant cultural processes and productions that come to mind for you?
The other day I found some old papers (as you do). Three years ago I had emailed a number of people (see below), attempting a small random 'survey' (very Sydney-centred, I admit) to prepare for a presentation at UTS called: "Facing Fear: Community Anti-Racism after September 11, 2001".
::----------::
16 Nov 2004
dear friends
i will be doing a brief presentation at this upcoming forum, and i would like to begin a broad overview of contemporary arab australian cultural production of the last 3 years - although in the long term i am more interested in documenting and critically reflecting on work of the last 15 years. (for the forum i will also focus on 1 or 2 productions that i have worked on).
if you have time, could you help me in a bit of a survey? would you write down the names of significant cultural processes and productions that come to mind for you? i.e. within any timeframe, as i am NOT going to speak to the sept 11 timeframe...
at this stage i will probably just compile a chronology, but i would like to do more of this work in the future...
thanks so much
alissar
::----------::
It is now interesting to see what 7 people had replied 3 years ago...
::----------::
DK wrote:
ok, last 15 years,
politics of belly dancing
club arak! club arak! club arak!
i remember 1948
that's all i can think of right now...
MA wrote:
i remember 1948
beirut to baghadad
wattan forum
5 plays by Western Sydney writers at the Riverside Theatre (can't
remember event name)
For Palestine concerts (dunno if they count)
GirlGaze
MA wrote:
... in the last 3 years the ones I’m aware of are the ones you’ve been involved in. Others: Loubna Haikal’s book “Seducing Mr MacLean” . Jad El-Haj “The Last Migration”. Samia Keisso’s Multimedia production at Artspace last year can’t remember what it was called. There’s also non-fiction writing like Ghassan Hage, Ahmad Shboul, Paul Tabar’s, Paula’s work and mine....
VD wrote:
Alissar - hi, I don't understand. How can I help you ??
NS wrote:
Jirrin journey and Arabmade
AA wrote:
When I first read this I somehow immediately thought of the Gibran Khalil Gibran play devised by Taqa Theatre. I guess because it was a work that was pre-2001 and therefore not really about “us” responding to “them” and being forced into taking up the challenges and considerations that are posed by (mis)representation. I saw it as an exploration of the life of a person who contributed to Arabic culture and philosophy and who has been revered in the Arab world long before new age hippies “discovered” him. It was an interesting representation in a contemporary context of his works and his personal struggles.
I think a lot of contemporary Arab Australian art since 2001 has been labelled “political” and seen as a response to the vilification of our communities – all understandable in the current contexts and demonstrating how art can create these responses and dialogues etc. Just funny how pre-2001 is also very political but not recognised as that by all so obviously – given that Gibran’s work and life are also very misrepresented and misunderstood.
In more recent works – I think the Arab queer stuff stands out, and the work of ICE with Arab youth of course. I guess both have made these communities more visible.
CC wrote:
...significant Arab Australian cultural processes and productions that come to my mind are: Girlz Gaze (2004); Westies - the film with young Arabs in Western Sydney done with Virus Media; Family Affair - No Time for Pink Dresses, a play written with young Arabs in Bankstown looking at dreams, family and Palestine (2003); SAWAH - a creative development piece made with young Arab Women from Bakstown Girls High School in conjuction with UTP and Arabic Council - they're the main ones that come to my mind...
::----------::
SO, WHAT ARE THE SIGNIFICANT CULTURAL PROCESSES AND PRODUCTIONS THAT COME TO MIND FOR YOU NOW??
::----------::
::----------::
16 Nov 2004
dear friends
i will be doing a brief presentation at this upcoming forum, and i would like to begin a broad overview of contemporary arab australian cultural production of the last 3 years - although in the long term i am more interested in documenting and critically reflecting on work of the last 15 years. (for the forum i will also focus on 1 or 2 productions that i have worked on).
if you have time, could you help me in a bit of a survey? would you write down the names of significant cultural processes and productions that come to mind for you? i.e. within any timeframe, as i am NOT going to speak to the sept 11 timeframe...
at this stage i will probably just compile a chronology, but i would like to do more of this work in the future...
thanks so much
alissar
::----------::
It is now interesting to see what 7 people had replied 3 years ago...
::----------::
DK wrote:
ok, last 15 years,
politics of belly dancing
club arak! club arak! club arak!
i remember 1948
that's all i can think of right now...
MA wrote:
i remember 1948
beirut to baghadad
wattan forum
5 plays by Western Sydney writers at the Riverside Theatre (can't
remember event name)
For Palestine concerts (dunno if they count)
GirlGaze
MA wrote:
... in the last 3 years the ones I’m aware of are the ones you’ve been involved in. Others: Loubna Haikal’s book “Seducing Mr MacLean” . Jad El-Haj “The Last Migration”. Samia Keisso’s Multimedia production at Artspace last year can’t remember what it was called. There’s also non-fiction writing like Ghassan Hage, Ahmad Shboul, Paul Tabar’s, Paula’s work and mine....
VD wrote:
Alissar - hi, I don't understand. How can I help you ??
NS wrote:
Jirrin journey and Arabmade
AA wrote:
When I first read this I somehow immediately thought of the Gibran Khalil Gibran play devised by Taqa Theatre. I guess because it was a work that was pre-2001 and therefore not really about “us” responding to “them” and being forced into taking up the challenges and considerations that are posed by (mis)representation. I saw it as an exploration of the life of a person who contributed to Arabic culture and philosophy and who has been revered in the Arab world long before new age hippies “discovered” him. It was an interesting representation in a contemporary context of his works and his personal struggles.
I think a lot of contemporary Arab Australian art since 2001 has been labelled “political” and seen as a response to the vilification of our communities – all understandable in the current contexts and demonstrating how art can create these responses and dialogues etc. Just funny how pre-2001 is also very political but not recognised as that by all so obviously – given that Gibran’s work and life are also very misrepresented and misunderstood.
In more recent works – I think the Arab queer stuff stands out, and the work of ICE with Arab youth of course. I guess both have made these communities more visible.
CC wrote:
...significant Arab Australian cultural processes and productions that come to my mind are: Girlz Gaze (2004); Westies - the film with young Arabs in Western Sydney done with Virus Media; Family Affair - No Time for Pink Dresses, a play written with young Arabs in Bankstown looking at dreams, family and Palestine (2003); SAWAH - a creative development piece made with young Arab Women from Bakstown Girls High School in conjuction with UTP and Arabic Council - they're the main ones that come to my mind...
::----------::
SO, WHAT ARE THE SIGNIFICANT CULTURAL PROCESSES AND PRODUCTIONS THAT COME TO MIND FOR YOU NOW??
::----------::
...sound...
on speaking.
and not...
on hearing.
and not...
:: sounds ::
[2/12/95]
taghreed.
sound of birdsong
khareer.
sound of running water
hadeel.
sound of doves
raneem.
sound of fish
deep under water
things i don't hear very well.
or not at all
but i have a feeling for
taghreed and khareer,
hadeel and raneem.
sometimes if i don't hear something
i don't even know it's there.
there are many things i don't know.
there are many things i no longer want to know.
and sometimes if i don't awaken something
(deep under water)
i can even forget that it's there.
and not...
on hearing.
and not...
:: sounds ::
[2/12/95]
taghreed.
sound of birdsong
khareer.
sound of running water
hadeel.
sound of doves
raneem.
sound of fish
deep under water
things i don't hear very well.
or not at all
but i have a feeling for
taghreed and khareer,
hadeel and raneem.
sometimes if i don't hear something
i don't even know it's there.
there are many things i don't know.
there are many things i no longer want to know.
and sometimes if i don't awaken something
(deep under water)
i can even forget that it's there.
November 6, 2007
"sukh'riya..."
Can you believe I was wondering (and googling) what the word for "irony" is in 3arabi, and this phrase actually came up as a post on some blog: 'what's the Arabic word for "irony"...?'
Unfortunately it was written by an American standup comedian who is also a writer and an army reservist. Do I want to continue? (Yep, it was anti-Arab and anti-Islamic, supposedly commenting on the controversy about those cartoons in the Danish newspaper).
Enough. I don't even want to begin to imagine the amount of racism and Islamaphobia in cyberspace...
Back to "irony".
Well, I do know the word
"mas'kharra"
which in my old green Hans Wehr Dictionary of Modern Arabic means "masquerade / object of ridicule, laughingstock / ridiculous, droll, ludicrous"
and there is "sukh'riya"
which is "scorn, derision, mockery, irony..."
all coming from the verb / root
"sakhira"
"to laugh, scoff, jeer, sneer, mock, ridicule, deride, make fun"
In the last couple of years my favourite irony has been experienced through the contemporary poetry of several local Iraqi poets. (go Auburn! go Parramatta!).
Often difficult to translate effectively into English, the whimsy within a few short paragraphs can mask a depth of nuances that I can only ever float on the edge of...
Unfortunately it was written by an American standup comedian who is also a writer and an army reservist. Do I want to continue? (Yep, it was anti-Arab and anti-Islamic, supposedly commenting on the controversy about those cartoons in the Danish newspaper).
Enough. I don't even want to begin to imagine the amount of racism and Islamaphobia in cyberspace...
Back to "irony".
Well, I do know the word
"mas'kharra"
which in my old green Hans Wehr Dictionary of Modern Arabic means "masquerade / object of ridicule, laughingstock / ridiculous, droll, ludicrous"
and there is "sukh'riya"
which is "scorn, derision, mockery, irony..."
all coming from the verb / root
"sakhira"
"to laugh, scoff, jeer, sneer, mock, ridicule, deride, make fun"
In the last couple of years my favourite irony has been experienced through the contemporary poetry of several local Iraqi poets. (go Auburn! go Parramatta!).
Often difficult to translate effectively into English, the whimsy within a few short paragraphs can mask a depth of nuances that I can only ever float on the edge of...
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