kan ya makan...

kan ya makan... once upon a time...

i remember long ago as a child, working out for myself that 'time' (as we knew it) was something 'made up' by humans, to divide and to count...

'kan ya makan...' is actually not part of my own childhood. although my father did tell me ongoing stories about a girl named gigi and a dog and a swimming pool. how sydney suburban.

the arab art of storytelling (and joketelling) is something that i've experienced more as a grown-up, accumulating elements of a 2nd-hand arab experience.
an accumulation of 'arabness'.

hold on. i take back the bit about 2nd-hand (or 3rd- or 4th-hand).
arabness, as it lives and accumulates itself within the diaspora, is no more or no less arab, ma hayk?
so let me get back to 'time'...

if i lose my language do i lose my own sense of time?
or do i lose my father's time...?

boukra and manyana:
i like this joke about concepts of time and procrastination; it's the one about the dialogue between the arabic speaking person and the spanish speaking person.

the arab asks about the spanish 'manyana'?
manyana is a relaxed tomorrow, not definitely, and if not tomorrow then maybe the day after, and if all goes well, it might happen then...

the spanish speaker wants to know about the arabic 'boukra'?
boukra is a bit like manyana, but not as urgent...

A.I. on 'ghost flights'...

... my first thought on reading about the helicopter ride that Alissar took - and which she has no memory of, no evidence for - reminded me of the other 'ghost flights' that i've been thinking about lately. Those ghost flights are the more sinister kind - those that 'render' people to institutions of pain and potential death: torture houses, jails, death camps. Alissar's helicopter ride was a ghost flight not because public record of it has been expunged but because the passenger has no memory, no memorialised evidence of it. But this ghost flight 'rendered' her to an institution of pain, potential death, but thankfully also healing and recovery.

Question: can you ever really 'lose' time??
what does this mean?
is time only 'not-lost' when you have a tangible memory or evidence for it?

Alia

no (time)frame...

too late in the 'discussion timeframe'?
ironically, there suddenly is NO timeframe...

amnesia through anaesthesia.
memory for forgetfulness, without sensation. with paralysis.
the surgical investigation gone wrong and emergency transfer.
heart and lungs pushed to the absolute limits...

h.y. wrote: But I am thinking about "leaving traces"...
what i was writing before i lost that time(frame)?

the quickly mythologized part of the lost week is the drama experienced unconscious(ly): flying over and above the all-too-familiar (like a helicopter from auburn to westmead)
however i have no 'evidence' of any such journey, which uncannily takes me back to my post of 9 nov...

no flag...

i continue to return to this poem
written nearly 800 years ago
by mawlana jalaluddin rumi
(translated by coleman barks)

:: no flag ::

i used to want buyers for my words.
now i wish someone would buy me away from words.

i've made a lot of charmingly profound images,
scenes with abraham, and abraham's father, azar,
who was also famous for icons.

i'm so tired of what i've been doing.

then one image without form came,
and i quit.

look for someone else to tend the shop.
i'm out of the image-making business.

finally i know the freedom
of madness.

a random image arrives. i scream,
"get out!" it disintegrates.

only love.
only the holder the flag fits into,
and wind. no flag.

(#2449)

evidence ... no traces

3arabi-mapping...
mapping?

i have always tracked my footsteps, walking around blocks.
always lived internal lives, making mind maps (long before virtual realities of blogs and second lives).
always made lists on bits of paper, kept books to write things in.
now, cool people do this electronically in their pockets (including cross-referencing!)
some friends have laughed at the obsessive tendencies.
the odd person understands through their own habits.
unfortunately my horizontal filing (physical, electronic, virtual and mental) has become way too horizontal...

js said she wants to photograph my densely configured work diaries. she thinks they are amazing. that's a bit too public for me. i have to make sure i burn everything before i die. (i can just imagine my final list. ha! reminds me of when i was packing up to leave after a few years in ramallah. bb said to add 'leave' to my list of things to do.)

i remember a late night auburn street cafe conversation with oq. he told a story of piles of legal documentation stacked in a room, needing to find one phone number on one piece of paper. he could visualize his handwriting and the colour of the paper. he visualized where this was amongst the piles. and he found it. i remember asking our short blacks: why do we keep things on paper? why do we document? we looked at each other and simultaneously said: evidence.
not in the legal sense.
existential.

i remember a loungeroom conversation with ah, who said: 'you seem to accumulate things'. intonations of judgement. i said that every piece has a story related to who it came from. that habits of writing on paper were not merely descriptive of what's happened, but what is underneath, and how it feels. he said that he wants to leave no traces.

in a recent discussion with bh, we excavated ideas about why we document (whatever and however). he talked about the greek roots of the word 'archive' being 'house of the lawmaker'. he mentioned derrida's concept of 'archive fever'.

i remember one night in the bush near the campfire, a brief intersection of conversation with a woman, who said that in buddhist practice, writing reflections and realizations is not really encouraged, especially when you are still learning, as it brings too much conceptualization, and it does not encourage you to be in the present moment... (i later went to my little tent and wrote that down. ha!)

significant cultural processes and productions that come to mind for you?

The other day I found some old papers (as you do). Three years ago I had emailed a number of people (see below), attempting a small random 'survey' (very Sydney-centred, I admit) to prepare for a presentation at UTS called: "Facing Fear: Community Anti-Racism after September 11, 2001".

::----------::

16 Nov 2004

dear friends

i will be doing a brief presentation at this upcoming forum, and i would like to begin a broad overview of contemporary arab australian cultural production of the last 3 years - although in the long term i am more interested in documenting and critically reflecting on work of the last 15 years. (for the forum i will also focus on 1 or 2 productions that i have worked on).

if you have time, could you help me in a bit of a survey? would you write down the names of significant cultural processes and productions that come to mind for you? i.e. within any timeframe, as i am NOT going to speak to the sept 11 timeframe...

at this stage i will probably just compile a chronology, but i would like to do more of this work in the future...

thanks so much
alissar

::----------::

It is now interesting to see what 7 people had replied 3 years ago...

::----------::

DK wrote:
ok, last 15 years,
politics of belly dancing
club arak! club arak! club arak!
i remember 1948
that's all i can think of right now...

MA wrote:
i remember 1948
beirut to baghadad
wattan forum
5 plays by Western Sydney writers at the Riverside Theatre (can't
remember event name)
For Palestine concerts (dunno if they count)
GirlGaze

MA wrote:
... in the last 3 years the ones I’m aware of are the ones you’ve been involved in. Others: Loubna Haikal’s book “Seducing Mr MacLean” . Jad El-Haj “The Last Migration”. Samia Keisso’s Multimedia production at Artspace last year can’t remember what it was called. There’s also non-fiction writing like Ghassan Hage, Ahmad Shboul, Paul Tabar’s, Paula’s work and mine....

VD wrote:
Alissar - hi, I don't understand. How can I help you ??

NS wrote:
Jirrin journey and Arabmade

AA wrote:
When I first read this I somehow immediately thought of the Gibran Khalil Gibran play devised by Taqa Theatre. I guess because it was a work that was pre-2001 and therefore not really about “us” responding to “them” and being forced into taking up the challenges and considerations that are posed by (mis)representation. I saw it as an exploration of the life of a person who contributed to Arabic culture and philosophy and who has been revered in the Arab world long before new age hippies “discovered” him. It was an interesting representation in a contemporary context of his works and his personal struggles.

I think a lot of contemporary Arab Australian art since 2001 has been labelled “political” and seen as a response to the vilification of our communities – all understandable in the current contexts and demonstrating how art can create these responses and dialogues etc. Just funny how pre-2001 is also very political but not recognised as that by all so obviously – given that Gibran’s work and life are also very misrepresented and misunderstood.

In more recent works – I think the Arab queer stuff stands out, and the work of ICE with Arab youth of course. I guess both have made these communities more visible.

CC wrote:
...significant Arab Australian cultural processes and productions that come to my mind are: Girlz Gaze (2004); Westies - the film with young Arabs in Western Sydney done with Virus Media; Family Affair - No Time for Pink Dresses, a play written with young Arabs in Bankstown looking at dreams, family and Palestine (2003); SAWAH - a creative development piece made with young Arab Women from Bakstown Girls High School in conjuction with UTP and Arabic Council - they're the main ones that come to my mind...

::----------::

SO, WHAT ARE THE SIGNIFICANT CULTURAL PROCESSES AND PRODUCTIONS THAT COME TO MIND FOR YOU NOW??

::----------::

...sound...

on speaking.
and not...

on hearing.
and not...

:: sounds ::
[2/12/95]

taghreed.
sound of birdsong

khareer.
sound of running water

hadeel.
sound of doves

raneem.
sound of fish
deep under water

things i don't hear very well.
or not at all

but i have a feeling for
taghreed and khareer,
hadeel and raneem.

sometimes if i don't hear something
i don't even know it's there.

there are many things i don't know.
there are many things i no longer want to know.

and sometimes if i don't awaken something
(deep under water)
i can even forget that it's there.

"sukh'riya..."

Can you believe I was wondering (and googling) what the word for "irony" is in 3arabi, and this phrase actually came up as a post on some blog: 'what's the Arabic word for "irony"...?'

Unfortunately it was written by an American standup comedian who is also a writer and an army reservist. Do I want to continue? (Yep, it was anti-Arab and anti-Islamic, supposedly commenting on the controversy about those cartoons in the Danish newspaper).
Enough. I don't even want to begin to imagine the amount of racism and Islamaphobia in cyberspace...

Back to "irony".

Well, I do know the word
"mas'kharra"
which in my old green Hans Wehr Dictionary of Modern Arabic means "masquerade / object of ridicule, laughingstock / ridiculous, droll, ludicrous"

and there is "sukh'riya"
which is "scorn, derision, mockery, irony..."

all coming from the verb / root
"sakhira"
"to laugh, scoff, jeer, sneer, mock, ridicule, deride, make fun"

In the last couple of years my favourite irony has been experienced through the contemporary poetry of several local Iraqi poets. (go Auburn! go Parramatta!).
Often difficult to translate effectively into English, the whimsy within a few short paragraphs can mask a depth of nuances that I can only ever float on the edge of...

paula on 'the politics of bellydancing'...

well it just goes to demonstrate that you can resurrect cultural work from
the early nineties and still be relevant! 14 years ago a group of arab women
produced a performance work (with mostly sold out nights in both sydney and
canberra) called the politics of belly dancing. in this piece, issues around
cultural and gender representations, appropriation, orientalism and racism
were played out through the forms of poetry and movement. everything in
that choreopoem came from our collective frustrations with how we were
figured in western spheres and equally with how we felt silenced by the
dominance of orientalists and arabists who variously want to exotifiy,
fetishise, commodify or be the expert on all things arab. and where are we
in 2007? still frozen in the desert* (name of a chapter in my thesis :). i
am still interested these days in making work which speaks back to those
concerns, but am probably more aware of the limits of what we do. if
anything, i write more for arab disaporic audiences now than 'to make
westerners think about their own prejudices and colonial behaviours'. i am
acutely aware of the reception environment in which our work arrives, so
irony is my preferred weapon of choice. having tried most everything, there
is no other place to go than to irony. and what a satisfying place that is!
in short, rather than trying to 'correct' orientalist logic (which is
circular at best, dead-end at worst), in my contemporary work, i play with
it so that it loses some of its power through humour and satire.
paula

What critical questions would you ask of yourself and your own work?

Following on from my own dry conversations in September about unfolding an 'Arab-centred' approach to research and to discussion about cultural production, I took the opportunity to document a conversation with an Arab woman artist, in the site of her latest solo exhibition. (Thanks FK for being open and trusting. Thanks to AG for the film work.) Right now I'd like to reflect on the set-up and process of this conversation (as opposed to going into details about the artist's body of work and her narratives).

As I was going to see the exhibition a second time, I called the artist and flagged the possibility of filming a conversation (not an interview), to be later integrated into this 3arabi project. As we already have a strong working relationship we were on trusting territory. The challenge was to generate questions with each other within the context of the conversation itself...

We were clear of the kinds of questions we all endure and tire of - and sometimes get fed up with, so prefer to remain silent. Questions which require and demand explanation and justification and sometimes defence and defiance. What are the kinds of questions we would ask of ourselves, from our own perspectives? So our lead-up phone call simultaneously created and broke down some parameters...

Reality checks on site of the exhibition:
:: the setting up of camera, tripod, seats in good lighting, me off-camera, the artist facing a few of us... the very structure itself triggers body memories of other scenarios (even without the spotlights)
:: I also find it difficult to completely step out of the role of facilitator / interviewer, especially if there is a lull in the conversation
:: even though this discussion is not about this particular exhibition, there are often tangible references to her surrounding productions, and this clearly is useful for integrating discussion of personal, professional and political issues
:: deeper conversations are ALWAYS better WITHOUT cameras and mini-audiences, and WITH coffee and lounges and... whatever

As with any discussion, we warm up.
As with any story, I love the unexpected details.
As with a trusting communication, I am aware that your eyes can talk to each other, editing out everything else...

I have not yet seen the recording, but this is what I remember most (in no particular order) - and this perhaps reflects questions she would ask of herself:
:: why she makes work
:: childhood stories that began her relationships with something called 'Iraq' and something called 'Palestine'
:: what dramatically shifted her work from 'cultural maintenance' to the political engagement in her images and materials and implementation of her work (including the labels)
:: what continues to sharpen her politicized awareness of herself as an Arab artist / woman / Muslim / migrant in Australia
:: why she feels a sense of responsibility to 'educate' and 'explain to' the non-Arab / non-Muslim 'other'
:: how does Australia work to 'diminish' her sense of 'Arabness' that was so stong and proud in her childhood
:: when can she have a 'holiday' from this overriding responsibility
:: what does she create when she does have a rare 'holiday' from this role and sense of responsibility
:: what are the stories of the details of the material elements and methods used in creating her work
:: where is the pain
:: where is the beauty
:: what does she think she will be creating in ten years time
:: where are the rare moments of her own peace and her own spirituality in the creating of her own work

WHAT CRITICAL QUESTIONS WOULD YOU ASK OF YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN WORK?

AI wrote on Tues 11 Sept

Thanks for sending me the link to your blog... lots of food for thought. I'm in the process of reworking a paper that engages with Tuhiwai Smith's work and the implications/possibilities for Muslim centred research.

AS wrote on Mon 10 Sept

I've skimmed through .... I am not sure about some points as they look like a summary of some detailed discussions. What is "cultural informant"?
I personally believe that as Arabs, and other people who were colonised, we need to detonate our old concepts about ourselves and the West and start looking at things in a totally different way. The "West" is not democratic and human rights and public opinion are marginal to the "centres of power" in these societies. About time to stop looking at them as the model we aspire to. I notice what is happening in theses societies DECLINE IN THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT US. This is indication and a sign for us to wake up.